


Lilies and Peonies

by Avris



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Depression, I've only just begun this story so some of these tags are just "maybes", Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Language of Flowers, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Self-Harm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27558949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avris/pseuds/Avris
Summary: Lily: “On par with the rose for its multitude of meanings, lilies are bursting with symbolism: purity, unity, femininity, excellence, and greatness.” A majestic, long-lasting flower like the lily could only be for one person: a soulmate.Peony: “Rich in sentiment, peonies speak of protection, good fortune, happy marriage, healing, romance, honor, and everything in between.” A flower meant only for the cherished; the adored.Hinata Shouyou had flowers forming on his back. He almost missed them, as his lower back was definitely in a lot of pain and he couldn't be sure, at first, until he was being yelled at for having found his soulmate. His dad made sure that was the worst night of his life, rather than the happy night the first flowers were supposed to symbolize.Later, when he could pick himself up, he glanced into the mirror to see two small budding roses. New love, but already an intense one. Hinata felt happy for them, he did, but he also felt like he'd already lost his chance.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Hinata Shouyou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyma Tobio/Ushijima Wakatoshi/Nishinoya Yuu/Azumane Asahi, Hinata Shouyou/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

** Life Before Soulmates  
**

* * *

Hinata Shouyou had known a loving childhood. His mother, Sawa, had spoiled him nearly rotten, and his father adored them both. He had fond memories of adventures to the zoo, picnics at the park, swimming pool parties, and building snowmen. His childhood was perfect, and when Natsu was born it couldn't get better. He adored his little sister and made sure she was always safe and had a smile on her face. The family adventures continued and Hinata only knew happiness.  
  
And then one day, Hinata left the front gate open when he ran into the house. He'd been so excited to tell his mom all about his day at school and hadn't noticed little 3-year-old Natsu stumbling out of the gate. (In the way that toddlers do.) Sawa caught sight of her over Hinata's short frame and immediately rushed to grab her. She tried to push Hinata gently to the side, but in her panic he was pushed into his own backpack on the ground, tripping and hitting his head against the wall. Once Natsu was safely grabbed and brought back into the yard, Sawa panicked. Hinata was crying on the floor with a bit of blood dripping down his forehead. Sawa couldn't handle the sight of blood and fainted, hitting the floor with a hard thud and leaving the family in chaos.   
  
Hinata knew he needed to toughen up and call for help, and with a sniffle, he rang the police. He was too young to know his father's number, but they had taught him to call 1-1-9 for emergencies in school.   
  
"I hit my head and it hurts, and my mom fell and she isn't moving, and my dad is at work," Hinata tried to explain, in the rambly way he could. The police told him he was doing so well and being very brave. They also told him to stay on the line and asked if it was ok to ask him a few questions while they waited for help to arrive. Hinata's lip was quivering from trying not to cry but he pushed out a watery yes. They asked him if he had a dad and knew his number.   
  
"My dad's name is Noda Hinata, I don't know his number," Hinata began crying. His sister was sitting beside Sawa and mumbling mama over and over. Hinata knew it must be his fault that his mom was hurt. The dispatcher on the line tried to soothe him, but Hinata wasn't even listening anymore. He dropped the phone and sat beside Natsu, shaking his mom to try and wake her up.   
  
When Sawa opened her eyes to her two crying children, the front door wide open, and sirens coming down the street she bolted up, immediately picking up Hinata and taking him into the kitchen to wipe the blood off his forehead. She was frantically trying to calm her kids down and holding a napkin to Hinata's forehead while the police let themselves in and the whole family was ushered to get checked at the hospital. And because everyone could walk just fine, they let them ride in the back of the police car instead of insisting on an ambulance.   
  
That day was the beginning of the end, at least to the Hinata family. Both Hinata and Sawa were rushed to get X-rays and an MRI scan after finding worrying results in Sawa's brain.   
  
Noda came home to find out his wife had a tumor in her brain, and even with all the positive nurses saying they caught it early enough there was suddenly an impending darkness settling over their lives.   
  
The chemotherapy was brutal, suddenly even leaving the house was too much for Sawa and most days it was now Hinata's job to cook for his sister and mom. His dad came home tired, but wanting to spend every moment with Sawa, leaving Hinata and Natsu to their own devices. The loving and happy woman his mother once was was now a hollow, tired woman who could only pat his head and say she was proud when Hinata went into her room to tell her about his day. Noda became a shell of himself, only working to pay off Sawa's bills and giving all his love to her when he could.   
  
They only got a few months with her, after that fateful day, and then she was gone. And Noda was, too, at first. Hinata didn't see his dad for nearly 5 days after Sawa was buried. He and Natsu were running low on the sort of food he could cook, so he was only making enough for Natsu most days. (Besides, he got lunch from school, and Natsu only had daycare snacks, so he didn't mind.) But when Noda came staggering in, tears still streaming down his face, he just stood at the doorway and stared into the house. It was quiet and dusty. It felt empty. Noda felt empty... but then he felt rage.   
  
And suddenly, Hinata now knew more than just happiness, he knew pain, sadness, and guilt, too. 


	2. Chapter 2

**There are Multiple Types of Pain  
**

* * *

Somehow, despite everything, Hinata still found his way to volleyball. The ball in his hand, he was sure, felt like destiny. He didn't know what it felt like to meet a soulmate, but he imagined it was similar to the burst in his heart when his hand stung from a spike, the rush of adrenaline he felt when he jumped in the air, and the sight over the net that left him breathless. He found his safe place on the court, where the only bruises he received were hard-earned and his enemies couldn't touch him, couldn't hurt him. 

Hinata cherished the way he felt while practicing. He'd pick up Natsu from her daycare and made sure she had a snack and did her homework while he practiced. He tried to stay out as late as possible, away from their father, but also still early enough that Natsu was going to bed on time for school the next day. She was so well-behaved and Hinata couldn't be more thankful to have such an amazing little sister. (And when Natsu smiled, sometimes he teared up because her smile looked exactly like Sawa's.)  
  
Noda had made sure Hinata was used to being beaten nearly daily. Half the time he wasn't even drunk, and just felt like he needed to release all of his negative emotions. The moment Noda remembered his wife's death it just fueled his anger and hatred towards Hinata. And he made sure Hinata knew he was to blame for Sawa's death. Hinata was forced to learn how to fend for himself and to take care of his sister. He never ever wanted to see Natsu suffering like he was, so he accepted the punishment Noda gave to him every day.   
  
He knew he deserved it for killing his mom. Most days, Hinata's stomach was black and blue. Oftentimes, his arms and back were covered, as well. They were easy to cover and even easier to lie about, with his volleyball practice regime. (The one-man volleyball team, so no one was there to call him out on his lies.)   
  
And years passed, just like that. Hinata practiced and got bruised every day. (Except now, the ones from volleyball were starting to feel like punishment, too, because he still wasn't good enough.)  
  
He had never known good grades, not since his mom passed away, but he passed. He practiced, he took care of Natsu, and he let his father unleash chaos on his small, small body.   
  
After a while, Noda no longer liked that routine, though. His anger was overwhelming so he broke Hinata. Hinata had never wished for death until he stripped him down to nothing and made to scream his throat raw, in their soundproof basement. He couldn't breathe properly and his tears were mixing with snot and spit all over his face as Noda bruised and split Hinata's body apart. When Hinata woke up, sometime in the middle of the night, and tried to get up, he knew he'd be in bed for days.   
  
But Hinata being stuck in bed meant nothing to Noda because after finding his release in his son he knew he couldn't just stop. So he fucked Hinata every night, or every other night if he went out bar hopping. He left Hinata to fend for himself, fix himself up, and after a few too many absences he forced Hinata to start wearing women's period pads if he was still bleeding.   
  
Then, one night, as he was being raped and simultaneously beaten against his back, he felt a sting along his lower back. It wouldn't have probably hurt if Hinata's body wasn't already screaming in agony, but then suddenly Noda screamed, "You already met your soulmate? You don't deserve to feel loved after what you've done! I'll kill them when I find out who they are, Hinata." Hinata's screams turned into deep, heart-wrenching cries as his father beat him harder than he ever had before. Leaving Hinatas back a black and bloody mess and spitting on the newly formed budding roses. Roses that symbolized a deep and passionate love.  
  
Hinata knew he hadn't met his soulmates, but he knew if he was receiving tattoos without meeting them that they had met each other. Hinata stared at his nude empty skin and realized now that his body had a tattoo his body would start to get covered in them. Every time he felt a deep emotion it would appear on his skin from now on, and every time his soulmates had a strong enough emotion their tattoos would spill onto his skin, too. Hinata wondered if his body would be pure black soon from the tattoos he was sure to get from his father's abuse.   
  
Hinata decided early on that he couldn't intrude on their love, not one as strong as theirs was already starting, roses were rare as a first flower. The passion had to be instant. Hinata knew that even if they could somehow find love in their hearts for him that just being around Hinata would be like asking for them to sacrifice their life to him. Noda wanted Hinata to feel the same pain he did after losing his soulmate. So he gave up, right then and there, on ever pursuing his soulmates, and instead threw himself into practicing.   
  
He pushed his body to its absolute furthest limits, longing for his escape on the court to last just another minute. Time passed slowly after that, Hinata's body adjusting to his constant cycle of pain and aching.   
  
By the time he was in his final year before high school, he felt like he could play a real game. He managed to convince a few classmates to help him out so that he could play his first-ever volleyball game. It was over faster than Hinata could blink, it felt like. All that practicing suddenly felt worthless, how can someone spend hours and hours and hours practicing for their first and only game to end so fast? Hinata knew he was a failure, a burden, and a waste of space after that. Suddenly every word Noda had ever thrown at him felt true, and he could feel nothing but disgust for himself. He was a murderer, after all.   
  
Hinata was so busy feeling shame and humiliation that he didn't feel the tug on his heart when he shook Kageyama's hand at the end of the match. He kept walking, even as Kageyama's piercing gaze double took on Hinata's small retreating form. Kageyama knew he must've just been feeling weird. Soulmates felt stronger than whatever had just happened, he knew. Besides, he knew two of his soulmates must have met already because he had two fully grown roses on his upper arm. Kageyama shook his head and refocused for his next game.   
  
"He had nice orange hair, though... but he was annoying." Kageyama thought passively as he caught up with his team.


	3. Chapter 3

**Out to Get Hinata**

* * *

The summer might as well have broken Hinata. For some reason, forget-me-not's had started binding around his chest, intensifying over his heart, as if he had been rejected by his soulmates. He didn't remember meeting them but he wasn't surprised if they had rejected him.  
  
Hinata spent all his bloody, bruised nights sobbing to anyone who'd listen, who could control fate, to protect his soulmates from him. The roses on his back were starting to be surrounded by happy sunflowers, proving how content his soulmates were together. Aster's were blossoming, too. Proving their endless amounts of trust in each other. Hinata felt like he was drowning in their love, he prayed for their love to continue blossoming across his body. He knew he was in love with their love.   
  
But the more their love spread across his body, the more sadistic Noda got. Somehow beating and raping his son had stopped feeling as good, and he wanted to feel his blood. Hinata's flowers were traced with knives, etching thorns that weren't previously there into his cherished soulmate's love. Hinata could take the cuts, but he prayed harder than ever that his soulmates wouldn't ever feel the thorns of his love. And then somewhere during the summer, the roses started to wilt. His soulmates were being cursed by him, he was sure. Something happened that was splitting apart their love. There were suddenly dizzying hyacinth flowers surrounding their love, representing sorrow and regret.   
  
After that Hinata just wanted to protect their love from himself and bought body paints intended to hide his flower-covered body. He made sure to stay covered, especially around his father. Noda laughed and laughed, knowing his son would be forever alone, and would never feel the kind of love Noda felt from Sawa. Hinata let him laugh, let himself be humiliated, and could feel the forget-me-knots shrinking but growing more and more in number, almost like they were tightening around his heart, and the image left Hinata dizzy. Hinata thought that could also just be because he hadn't eaten in a few days, though.   
  
Natsu, his sweet sister, knew something was wrong at home but didn't know what. She'd often been left to her room, usually being locked in if it wasn't her bedtime. Hinata always made her dinner, Noda's watchful eye making sure only Natsu got a serving. But Natsu wasn't completely oblivious to that fact, and she had started sneaking her school snacks into Hinata's backpack. Hinata had cried the first time he found a pack of fruit gummies and an orange in his bag during his first class, in the morning he started high school. He worked harder to hide the abuse and pain from his sister, though, after that. She couldn't get involved, it wasn't her fault.   
  
Lunch at school made Hinata's empty stomach flip at all the food around his homeroom and in the lunchroom, so he hid inside the bathroom most days to escape all the smells. And then somehow it was the end of the week and the first day of volleyball tryouts. He entered the gym after spending the whole week convincing himself he could still play and he wasn't a total waste of space but then there was Kageyama.  
  
Hinata's shame that he had the day he lost came rushing back, slamming into him and he thought he felt a hyacinth growing just from that alone. He had barely convinced himself to join the club but he didn't think he could do it if Kageyama was there, seeing how worthless he still was. And the dry look Kageyama was giving him made Hinata's heart literally feel like it was constricting because of the sheer amount of dislike and disgust he could see in Kageyama's eyes. Hinata bowed his head in shame and nearly walked out of the gym right then and there. But that's when Daichi walked in with the other third-years.   
  
Daichi instantly saw Hinata's discomfort to Kageyama and tried to force them to work together. When Kageyama scowled at how Hinata shrunk back from him, Hinata thought he was immediately disliked and tried to say it's okay, he'd leave the club if he had to. The amount of shyness radiating off the boy and genuine sadness made Kageyama even more angry, but he couldn't tell why. He hated how much Hinata was affecting his emotions for no apparent reason, but he also knew he was making Hinata even more scared with his anger so he tried to reel it in.   
  
"I'll play with you," Kageyama mumbled.   
  
"You don't need to force yourself, I was considering not playing anymore, anyway," Hinata mumbled.   
  
Kageyama couldn't understand, looking back at how excited Hinata was to stand on the court the first time they'd met. Someone that passionate to stay on the court couldn't just _give it up._ Kageyama couldn't control his anger anymore and just felt like he had to say something, even if it was at this shy orange-haired kid.  
  
"If you're so weak that you can't even play on the court proudly then yeah, maybe you should go," He said in a scarily calm voice.   
  
And Hinata retreated, shoving his trembling hands into his pockets. He stopped playing volleyball before he could even start, that day. And that night the forget-me-nots on his chest and shoulders began to expand to his upper arms. At this rate, Hinata gave a dry chuckle, he'd have full sleeves of forget-me-nots in a few months.   
  
Hinata's body paint had to be applied to his torso and back every day. (And now his upper arms.) After a particularly bad cutting session with Noda, Hinata realized the paint covered up a fair bit of his bruises and closing cuts, too. (The same couldn't be said for his fresh ones, though.) So he started self-harming. He wanted to die, honestly, but Natsu still needed to be taken care of. After she was okay and safe, Hinata told himself he'd finally get what he deserved.  
  
Now that Natsu was getting older and joining clubs, Noda had a lot more time to hurt Hinata since he wasn't in any clubs at the moment. Hinata realized after a 4-hour beating from Noda that he had to do something, though, and began to practice with a few neighborhood associations that had been incredibly welcoming. One of the players, Ukai, was especially keeping him busy to improve. (He said his receives were almost the worst he'd ever seen.)   
  
Hinata's cut up thighs and bruised body made movement difficult, some days, but Hinata's body was toughening up from the intense practicing Hinata put it through. A third rose had blossomed by his other two, on his back. He had 3 soulmates, then, and they'd all met. Hinata's heart cried and cried for the beautiful love it had lost, it was losing, and it would continue to lose. His soulmates probably had each other just to combat the disgusting love Hinata could give them. He hoped, if he ever met them, their love for each other would be untouchable to the curse that was Hinata.  
  
Hinata felt alone, he could feel them all moving forward, away from him, happy. He felt fear, despair, and loneliness. Carnations, his testimony to not be with his soulmates (to not ruin their lives), and zinnia's spreading across his shoulders. (His longing for his distant soulmates.)   
  
One thing Hinata realized a little too late, though, was that whenever he meets any of his soulmates they'd start getting his flowers, too. And he cried because even though he hadn't met any of them, one day they would get his flowers and see them completely wilted. (Proof that he wanted to die.)   
  
Hinata knew his deep agony ran too deep for his soulmates not to get his tattoos. He knew, considering he only had a few of theirs, that people only passed on their strongest emotions to their soulmates. But the issue was, Hinata felt everything to his core. He couldn't feel anything half-heartedly, and his tainted body would surely taint his soulmates if they ever met. And right now? He felt lonely. So lonely that he was having a hard time convincing himself it was worth staying alive, and every flower on his body began to wilt, proving that he felt that way to his core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I should clarify this universe's flower tattoos and the idea I'm following for this story. 
> 
> Soulmates don't start growing flowers on themselves, about their personal feelings and the events in their life, until after they meet their soulmate. (Or, in the case of polygamous relationships, when at least two of your soulmates have already met each other.)
> 
> If your soulmates meet, but you haven't met them, they won't get your tattoos. 
> 
> If you meet your soulmate, they won't receive every flower you have (and vice versa.) You only get the flowers that signify something they feel deeply, with everything they have. (Which is why most people only have flowers of love and happiness.) 
> 
> I'll go more in-depth on how Hinata's flowers are affecting his soulmates, as everyone can get different flowers from an interaction based on how they feel. Kageyama and Ushijima have some of Hinata's flowers. (Ushijima has the roses from Asahi, Kageyama, and Nishinoya, as well as forget-me-nots from Hinata and Kageyama.) 
> 
> Sorry of anythings confusing. Leave a comment and I'll be editing this once its done to make it flow better and have less plot holes. Thank you!! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**There's No Permanent Escape**

* * *

Hinata was thankful that any first years who joined the volleyball team weren't in his class. He didn't think he could handle having to see Kageyama and all his teammates having so much fun when honestly, Hinata's heart clenched with jealousy. He couldn't be sure what was the main cause of his jealousy, but he knew a large part of it was his jealousy of people being able to trust each other like they do in volleyball. He was envious of having a _team_ that would also have his back. And maybe, just maybe, he was jealous of the way Kageyama didn't seem to scowl at his teammates, not as he did with Hinata.   
  
Unfortunately, just because they weren't in the same class didn't mean they didn't see each other in the lunchroom, the library, the hallways, the vending machine, or literally anywhere else their paths might cross. Including the bathrooms. Which Hinata spent the majority of his lunch breaks in to hide away from the painful reminder that he's starving, and hasn't eaten in 3 days outside of a granola bar from his emergency food supply. (Hidden under a floorboard that Hinata only managed to hide because of how light and easy his bed was to move to cover the slightly lifted board.) Kageyama must've heard his stomach rumble or something because he knew he wasn't making any noises in his locked corner stall.   
  
"Sorry to overstep, whoever's in there, but if you'd like a snack I can put it in your backpack or something," Kageyama said. Even Kageyama could admit he was being a little too nice for his usual self, but he'd been feeling depressed, lately. His soulmate's petals were literally withering away as his soulmate, who he had apparently met and didn't realize it, literally wanted to die.   
  
No one spoke, at first, until Kageyama heard the weakest, "Thank you." He couldn't place the meek voice, but he grabbed the soft steamed bun's he'd just bought from the lunchroom from his backpack and put them into Hinata's. He felt his heart warm, slightly, but brushed it off as he remembered someone saying that being kind enough to give to another person can be incredibly fulfilling on its own. His heart definitely didn't warm for any other reason.   
  
"Try not to forget your lunch money tomorrow, kid. But for now, those should still be hot, though I don't recommend eating in a bathroom..." He trailed off. With a thoughtful expression on his face, Kageyama walked out of the bathroom door and went back to the lunchroom. After all, he couldn't very well play his best without eating properly. Especially when they had a practice match with coach Ukai's neighborhood association team, today.   
  
Hinata's thoughts were in the same direction. His stomach rumbled due to his hunger but in all honesty, he didn't know if he could stomach the steamed buns Kageyama had given him, either. Ukai had asked him to play in today's match versing Karasuno and Hinata tried but had no good excuse to skip out. Besides, it wasn't worth skipping a game to only go home and get a longer beating than usual. He was petrified to see the look on Kageyama's face when he walked in and worried he might be kicked out on sight.   
  
He wasn't one to waste food, though, and quickly found an empty classroom to eat his lunch in. The taste of warm, cooked food was enough to get Hinata's mind off the game for a while. He didn't remember the last time he had eaten anything past a small bag of chips or a granola bar. But of course, that had to come to an end when the bell rang and Hinata wished, suddenly, that class would go on just a little longer. For the first time in his life, Hinata was wishing for one form of torture to last longer than to face another form. (Though, school really didn't compare to what Hinata knew real torture was.) He saw no escape, especially when volleyball was usually the main source of relief for Hinata.   
  
Kageyama's face wasn't what Hinata expected. Of course, he was surprised but he was also standing next to a very sort guy with a blonde streak in his hair, and a very friendly-looking giant. They were all so... warm together. Hinata couldn't find a better way to describe it other than they looked cozy, homey, soft... Hinata's heart ached. And from his stares, he thought maybe they felt the ache too because all three were staring at him. Hinata quickly looked down and ran to his team to start warming up. And soon, he'd be all of Karasuno's enemy.   
  
During their practices, Ukai had taught Hinata to be a decoy. He said with his speed and jumping he could be a huge distraction, while also being really good at getting surprise points. It was a little embarrassing, Hinata thought, but it meant he could stay on the court and hold his own. At first, he had trouble aiming his spikes but Ukai immediately stopped him and asked why his eyes were closed.   
  
"Setter's aren't always able to perform the impossible, you know? You need to learn to fight on your own. Our setter isn't bad but if you're expecting him to toss to you perfectly without your own strength and guidance, he's going to feel unable to toss to you," Ukai had explained. And Hinata needed his setter to trust in his spike, so he learned. Because if he didn't, he couldn't stay on the court. He couldn't fight in the air. With his eyes open, he'd managed to start practicing aiming his spikes on the other side. Hinata hoped he had improved enough to verse Kageyama equally.  
  
When their match finally began, the two guys Kageyama was hanging out with were starting, too. Hinata was nervous but he forced himself to not get distracted. All that mattered was the ball, and being able to see the other side of the net.   
  
When Hinata scored his first spike he nearly cried with relief. He'd gotten past Kageyama who had a perplexed look on his face. Hinata looked away before that look would turn into hate or disgust. His teammates congratulated him and the game continued.   
  
Nishinoya and Asahi both had their names yelled out by their teams as they received the ball and spiked as best as they could. It was amazing to see, but in the end, the neighborhood association won. Hinata forced himself to keep a straight face while shaking the enemy teammates' hands and held it all in until he was well on his way home before the tears of brief joy came out. He'd never played a full game, nevermind won a full game.   
  
In the end, he was more useful as a decoy this time but he got to stay in the entire game. Hinata never thought he could be considered important enough to play seriously. He wiped his tears as he was passing Ukai's convenience store when he heard someone call his name.   
  
"Hinata, wait up!!" Daichi called.   
  
"Oh, Daichi, did you need something?" Hinata mumbled as he bowed apologetically. (For what? He didn't really know, but he thought later on it might've been from guilt for winning.)  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to join our team? We're missing a middle blocker, and even though Yamaguchi tries, it's not really the ideal spot for him." Daichi explained.   
  
"I don't know... Kageyama doesn't like me and I don't really think I'd be able to handle that in a team sport..." Hinata made excuses. He didn't want his only source of relief to be filled with dread and pain.   
  
"I know I'm overstepping but would you be willing to come to a practice or two this week? I think, since you've been practicing outside of school, you'll be a great fit to start with us and... just see how it felt," Daichi half pleaded.   
  
Hinata couldn't believe the captain would nearly beg for him, he knew he wasn't anything special, but he wanted to.. try. Daichi made him want to try and gave him hope. So Hinata nodded. He'd give it a shot, just this once.   
  
When he got home that night, smile still on his face, Noda punched it right off.   
  
'Forget keeping the bruises out of sight,' Hinata thought humorlessly. He'd have to make an excuse for when he came into practice but it was okay because Hinata saw that one of his flower petals had healed. They were almost all still withered but Hinata could feel the hope that had been itching its way up to his heart all day long starting to flourish. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my sort of weirdly paced writing. I haven't fully mastered it but I won't be editing it much until this story is finished. Please keep commenting or letting me know if I make any mistakes, it's very encouraging for me to continue writing! <3


	5. Chapter 5

Meeting Hinata... Officially  
  


* * *

It wasn't long before Hinata found himself inside Karasuno's gym again, only this time he felt almost 10 times as nervous. What was Kageyama going to say when he sees him again? Especially after he beat them yesterday, Hinata was honestly scared to find out. But he didn't have time to find out because Diachi got to him first.  
  
"Good Morning Hinata! You came!" Daichi said, and if it was possible for someone's eyes to sparkle then Daichi's definitely were. Hinata felt he didn't deserve that level of excitement, he was only going to be there for a few practices anyway. And then he'd return to the neighborhood association when they realize he really is just a coward who hides behind the net and lets the ball protect him. Hinata's heart was already dimming with his thoughts.  
  
"Yeah, I told you I would," Hinata fake laughed.   
  
"We can start with introducing you to the team, but you'll get to know them a lot better as you play together. You and Kageyama don't seem to be on the best terms so if you'd like to practice with Suga first, to get used to our setters, that might work best." Daichi said thoughtfully, as he planned out the day. Then Daichi looked straight at Hinata, "where'd you get that bruise, do you need an ice pack? Are you okay?"   
  
Hinata was sure more questions were to come but he had almost forgotten about his bruised face from last night with all his nerves.   
  
"Yeah, I'm okay, I accidentally fell out of bed this morning and landed really hard on one of my weights," Hinata grimaced as if recalling the pain from his made-up memory.   
  
"Ouch, well I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you're okay," Daichi smiled as he lead Hinata into the club room to get changed.   
  
Hinata thanked his body paint every day for being able to quickly strip off his uniform and change into his gym clothes without anyone questioning his body. (Though he did wear longer boxers to cover any possibly showing cuts on his thighs.)   
  
He ran to the gym immediately, ready to warm up and distract himself from his thoughts. Kageyama was already practicing sets with Asahi and Nishinoya. Hinata could already feel the ache, knowing they were all soulmates and could be so happy together. He quickly began his own warm-ups to distract himself from the three boys behind him, calling each other names fondly and praising each other after every spike, receive, and set. Hinata wanted a bond like that, but he knew it wouldn't just be his life on the line if he found his.  
  
Slowly more and more members of the Karasuno volleyball team started to stream in, and the room was getting louder with shoes squeaking against the gym floors and balls being spiked into the floor, voices calling for a toss, and lots of encouragement being thrown around. Hinata felt overwhelmed with the bond he was witnessing between the team. Something he had never felt, everyone was so in sync with each other after only a month. Would they have let him play if he had joined a month ago? He was afraid to find out, but if Daichi saw something in him then he felt like he had to stay. Even though he felt like the obvious one out.   
  
People's glances in his direction as he practiced against a wall were starting to stress Hinata out. He knew they had never seen him before in practice but they had just seen him the day before. His ugly bright orange hair made him stand out, as well as his height, but he didn't realize the stares would be so persistent and he could feel himself becoming tenser and tenser. He peaked behind himself to find Kageyama drilling holes into his head and when he saw Hinata looking he immediately started walking towards him, still staring intimidatingly.   
  
Hinata looked down and braced himself, emotionally and physically, for whatever Kageyama might throw at him. He knew Kageyama thought he was pathetic but there was nothing he could do to change that right now.   
  
"Are you my soulmate?" Kageyama asked, almost earnestly if he didn't seem so serious and scary. Hinata felt his heart freeze.  
  
"I don't think so? I haven't met my soulmate yet, I don't even have any flowers," Hinata shakily laughed. He was so thankful to his body paint for helping him hold his lie, but now he really was alarmed and wondering if his soulmates were Kageyama, Nishinoya, and Asahi. He realized his heart must've been aching with a longing to join what should've been his, but Hinata knew he'd take his secret to the grave. Especially since he saw how soft Kageyama was around his other soulmates, he could never put them in harm's way if they could do that to someone who hated Hinata and felt so cold.   
  
Daichi saw the friendly exchange and got hopeful that Hinata might stick around this time. He immediately yelled out for his team to gather around him.   
  
"You guys remember Hinata from yesterday's game; I asked him to join us for a bit to see if he'd like to join our team. I'd like you all to introduce yourselves so he knows what name to call for while playing and we'll see how we go," Daichi began.   
  
One by one the Karasuno team introduced themselves. Hinata thought it might be difficult to remember them all right away but he for sure remembered Tsukishima for his intimidating height, Yamaguchi because he was the one Hinata might be replacing (and he felt guilty for that fact), Sugawara because he felt so warm and of course, Kageyama, Daichi, Nishinoya, and Asahi. They all were members he played against yesterday and most of them were on the starting team. Hinata was a bundle of nerves being on a team with all three of his soulmates at once.   
  
But he loved volleyball and if he couldn't have his soulmates, he at least wanted to keep playing the only sport that could still make his heart race.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sort of filler chapter but I wanted to introduce them all together before anything happens and actually begin a bond without rushing into anything. Thank you for your patience as I update this slowly! I started classes and my new job so life got busy suddenly. I'm back onto a schedule and should be posting more often again. <3


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